Truth Be Told

In the middle of last month I came down with a head and chest cold that knocked me on my butt for a few days. I took the time I was spending lying on my couch to watch my collection of romantic comedies – most favorite of all movie genres. What I realized as I watched film after film is that only when the characters finally find the courage to tell the truth do they find happiness. When one finally is honest and tells the other “The thing is I love you.” is when the emotional struggle ends, the kindness is revealed, and the grand first kiss is realized.

This made me wonder about real life. Why is it that it is so hard for us to tell the truth about how we are feeling? I know no person who would not be flattered to know someone thinks fondly of them if told in a heartfelt manner. Even if they were unable to reciprocate the feelings, if told in a heartfelt way, they would certainly treat the person who bared their soul with the deepest of kindness and careful compassion. Despite the outcome, the struggle is over when one finally can know the truth of the others feelings and stop hiding the truth of their own. Is being rejected so absolutely devastating that it requires us on a daily basis to lie to ourselves and others about our feelings of love and appreciation for each other? Do we really believe, as a society, that this is a weakness?

I’m a liar. I admit it. I have lied so many times to myself and others because of my deep fear of rejection. I remember back in my dating days how I rarely, if ever, was the one to admit I liked a boy, and never to his face! I would leave subtle hints, but always ones that could be denied if the threat of rejection reared its ugly head. It’s amazing I dated anyone. I do remember one time when I acted completely out of character and bared my soul to a guy I adored in university. Turned out, unbeknownst to me at the time, that his heart had already been given to another. I remember how he was so kind to me and treated me with the greatest respect. We ended up staying very good friends. In fact our friendship deepened. I will always cherish his compassion as we shared our truths with each other, even if they weren’t a match.

This is what happens when we communicate from the heart – love, not always romantic love, but love nonetheless. It is a shame we do it so little.

When’s the last time you told people you cared about how much you really care about them? When’s the last time you communicated your appreciation to your co-workers, family, neighbors, or friends? When’s the last time you told yourself how you truly feel? When I asked myself these questions, I realized I don’t do it near enough. When’s the last time you offered your love to the one person who has all the ability to greet you with open arms and tell you how amazing you are and never reject you? That one person, of course, is you. You can feel love everyday from the one person you spend the most time with – yourself – if only you’d allow yourself to love you in that way. Makes me wonder why we have become experts at rejecting ourselves?

The key to all this truth telling is listening to the heart. The mind talks but the heart feels. The mind can tell a story but the heart tells the truth. The more open I am about my feelings and the more aware I am of them, the more I find peace and joy. When I speak kindly, lovingly, and sincerely to anyone about what they mean to me, it is always received in the most beautiful and satisfying of ways. It is my quest to be more open and truthful because it gives me great results. It makes me wonder why I ever started lying in the first place. Fear, of course, is the answer – fear of not being good enough or smart enough or attractive enough or… These are the biggest lies that we tell – that we are not enough. Not only are these complete and utter lies, they also are a colossal waste of time keeping us from the very joy that we seek.

My advice this month is to be brave, vulnerable, heartfelt, and truthful. This will bring good things. While the truth may not always bring you the answers that you want, it will always provide you with what you need. It will always end well.

The truth is I am so very grateful for all my subscribers, clients, friends, supporters, and family. I love you all from the bottom of my heart.

Fay Thompson