Unconditional Love at Christmas
Christmas is upon us – the season of giving and unconditional love. This made me ask the question, “Why do we have a season for this? Does this mean Spring, Summer, and Autumn are the seasons for taking and conditional love?” I realized that my answer may not be too far off the mark.
What is unconditional love? It sounds wonderful, but how often do we experience it? In essence, I suppose unconditional love is to send love to someone or something without expecting anything in return. This also, I suppose, would define unconditional giving.
I wondered how much of my love was conditional? Quite a lot, once I began to think about it. I love my husband as long as he treats me with respect, doesn’t sleep with others, bathes, etc. Is this really love? It is – it’s just conditional. I love my Dyson vacuum cleaner…as long as it works. Again, conditions. No wonder we worry so much about losing love. We know that the conditions we place on it are not in our control and can change in a second.
As I always say, you will receive an answer for every question you ask, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when I received an answer to my “What is unconditional love?” question. It went something like this:
“Imagine you find a baby bird that’s cold, hungry, and obviously abandoned. It’s too young to fly. Would you attempt to feed it? Give it warmth? Give it love?”
“Yes”, I answered.
“Would you expect that bird to give you something back in return, or would you still love that bird if it became confident and healthy enough to fly away on its own without even giving you a second glance?” I understood that I would still love that bird and still choose to give it love because it needed love, and I would expect nothing in return.
My answer continued: “This is no different with people. All people need love. The nice and especially the nasty need love. So if you wish to love unconditionally, the question you must ask yourself when your husband annoys you, or when a person on the street behaves in a way you find offensive, or when a co-worker says a nasty word to you is “Is your heart big enough to love this person because they need love, even if they won’t love you back?” And when you say yes, in so doing, you give love not only to the person who needs it, but also to yourself, which is why giving unconditionally feels so very good.”
And I realized that if we, with our big hearts, were to allow ourselves to love others because they needed love, even if they won’t love us back, instead of judging them for their behavior, then the world would be filled with more loving, kinder, happier people. And there wouldn’t be any need for taking, because we would be giving to ourselves all the while, filled the joy of unconditional love. To give is to receive. I also realized that by withholding love from others, we, in turn, withhold it from ourselves. And there is no joy in that. Again, to give is to receive.
This Christmas may you be filled with the joy of giving and unconditional love. It is a priceless gift that can never be broken, defective, stolen, lost, or even run out of batteries. But beware, the moment you give unconditionally, you may find that your heart grows 3 sizes that day.
I send my love and the happiest Christmas blessings to you all… even if you don’t like this article.
