I have always been someone who has been guarded, and, out of habit, pushes things away when I am vulnerable or unsure of things. This year my guidance has brought my awareness to how the Universe is completely inclusive of everything and does not exclude or block out anything. This made me realize that perhaps it is time for me to break some exclusive habits and allow a little more in without fear of being controlled.
One area I often guarded myself around was religion. It was so pushed on me as a child, I blocked a lot of what people were telling me out. As an adult, I continued to be guarded and didn’t really want anything to do with church or religion.
I have been looking closely at this “guarding” recently. I realized that while there was a lot about religious teachings that I didn’t agree with – specifically those that involved being judged and punished – I also had to admit that whenever I was truly in a pickle or a place where I was in deep need, I turned to God or Jesus, and my prayers were answered. I received God’s grace when I asked for it with an open, unguarded heart.
I remember on two separate occasions in my youth, when I lost control of the vehicle while driving and knew I could be very hurt, how I immediately called for Jesus’ help. Both times, I escaped in ways that shouldn’t probably have been possible completely unscathed.
I realized that perhaps by being so guarded, that I was throwing the baby out with the bath water. This month, I attended a funeral mass for my uncle. This time, I purposely (and with effort) stayed present and unguarded throughout the entire service. I realized I could listen to the priest and not receive from his words what worked for me and leave what did not. I became aware that I could enjoy the blessings and prayers being offered without being controlled by them. I realized that all my fears about church and religion were a waste of my precious energy, and that we were all just people gathered to honour the life of my uncle. I hadn’t realized how many fears I was carrying and how much grace I was excluding by guarding myself until I specifically chose to do the opposite.
I became very aware that by including all the energies being offered in my awareness, I was receiving a great deal more than when I was guarded. Even receiving the energies of things I will not choose was liberating because I no longer was putting forth energy to eradicate, exclude, or push them away from me. By not having a barrier up to those things, I was able to be amused by them. I became amused by the child in the pew in front of me who was not behaving as his parents wanted him to. I became amused by the priest who talked to us at times like we were children needing to be scolded. In fact, I no longer saw the priest as an authority or more important than me (as I may have as a child). I could see he was just a guy doing his job in the best way he knew how.
This is the power of inclusiveness. It gives you everything and doesn’t leave you short of anything. It gives you true humbleness, equality, and happiness. By including things, you no longer make yourself inferior or superior to another. By being inclusive, you no longer exclude yourself from the moment which will always leave you feeling like you don’t belong.
I find it ironic that for many years I blamed the church for teaching me to fear and feel guilty, and that it was back in church where I became aware of not fearing and including. Church isn’t my problem. My excluding me from it was the problem. With me there, I have nothing to fear or feel guilty for. I can recognize other’s points of views, judgments, and agendas for what they are without being at the effect of them.
What are you excluding you from that if you opened yourself up to being inclusive, would give you the chance to be present as you in all your glory?
Tip: To be inclusive, say “yes” to everything that comes your way. Allow for it to be present with you. You will find the unwanted bits do not control you, but amuse you.